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Name: Adrian
Country: Canada
State: British Columbia
Metro: Coquitlam
Birthday: 3/12/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Violin, Card Games, Eating, Food, Cooking, Sleeping, Torn City, Chilling, Anime, Manga, Movies, Drama, Anything that moves, Day Dreaming, Poetry, Cabal Online, Golf, Scrabble, Snow Blading
Expertise: Day Dreamer
Occupation: None of the Above
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/4/2002
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| Sometimes you're thinking about "wishful thinking" while talking to someone you care about. Then you just randomly blurt it out and feel really stupid with mixed emotions. The world turns from colorful into a new shade of grey. "Why did I do this?" or "It's the end of the world.." or "Life has no meaning. Please end it for me." Well you catch my drift. This is the typical thought that runs through our minds. It could be different and vary differently across the ages and gender.
Boy oh boy, don't you wish you could turn back time? Fixing our mistakes like this? No! I truly beg to differ! I don't wish to turn back time. I'm living in the moment. This stupid moment would make me think about it for the rest of my life or a short period in my life where I'll certainly come back to it if not now or in the future. Sometimes it's better to speak out then keep it all hiding within you. We're given a voice. We need to make use of it. I did it. What's done is done. It's over in the past. Life itself is never over. For it's just the beginning. There will still be many chances in the future to "make things right".
We have forever to "make things right". That's exactly what life is about. We continue to make mistakes since we are human. Doesn't it suck to be human? Better than being a robot. No emotions. I feel like a robot sometimes. Until the moment where I shed tears. It's so nice to be human.
Onto another different matter. Currently on my mind. Within a channel of other thoughts that just broke out: "Hello world! Welcome to reality! This is our world! Let's learn to share it and be peaceful to each other. No need to make enemies and cause war. Peaceful humans?" Brain died. -bzzzzzzt-
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| Well I've asked some people how they want to die and just their overall perspectives on "death". Halloween is just around the corner. So we might as well be talking about sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together!
The typical top 10 answers I've ran across are:
1. I want to die happy.
2. I want to die in a coma so I won't feel the pain.
3. I love my car. I want to die in a car accident.
4. Enjoying a nice bubble bath when your radio falls in and electrocutes you.
5. Jump off a cliff.
6. Overdose on sleeping pills.
7. Have an allergic reaction where you just die.
8. Lethal injection. Quick and leaves no mess.
9. Cyanide.
10. Laughing until you die.
My answer is nothing close to yours. It might even be as far away to yours. Don't get me wrong I'm just getting started.
Here goes:
1. Being burned alive. The best part is feeling "warm and fuzzy" inside?
2. Double suicide, where person A pushes me off a cliff then jumps in after to join me. I love you person A 
3. Being skinned alive where you have to enjoy all that pain. Pain is what makes you feel alive.
4. Being hanged upside down where your legs are tied to something. Someone cuts you so all that blood draws one way.
5. Standing outside waiting for some lightning to hit you. Make sure you're holding some kind of metal conducting item.
6. Seeing a tornado. Being in the tornado. Dying in the tornado.
7. Buried alive.
8. Attending an "offline meeting". Please refer to episode 12 of Welcome to the NHK (2006).
9. Being inside a box. Someone throws this box over a ship. You drown to death.
10. Taser yourself. Whatever rocks your boat. Mine just sank.
HiROBii, what are you thinking about? Don't cross it out 
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| G, I know you're reading this, but you called my blog an "emo blog". Pfft~ you don't know much about what I write here lol. Well most of the stuff you read on here has been unedited for your pleasure or for mine. Only when you or someone reads it and becomes just as confused as I am when I type whatever that comes to my mind. I rarely hit the "backspace" button unless you see somethng like "tttthere" and wonder if I was out of it when I started my wordings.
I've started back into reading those Anne Rice & David Eddings' novels. Been a long time, time to refresh my memory 
Let's play again sometime. See you where the two roads cross paths xD
You said you wanted to play a duet. Let's duel it out
Over and out~
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| I have always wanted to start off an entry with a title like that. Not that it's supposed to inquire anyone in specific at all, but mainly at you as the reader of this blog. No names mentioned *cough* Rollie. Oh! That didn't come out right. Perhaps you stumbled on google with my name or my nickname or one of your keyords hit my blog.
This next area is to one person in specific. I'll follow the rule of "no names mentioned" throughout these small thoughts that gave me the idea of disliking you. I have tried to be thoughtful and listen to your words from time to time when you call me. All I do is listen patiently to your ongoing rant which includes nothing to do with me or have any connection to me whatsoever with the occasional "uh-hum's" and "yes's" just so you can keep on talking and make this phone call to me as short as possible. I've come to the point where whatever you say comes in from one ear and leaks out the other just as fast. I don't want to remember anything to do with you. If you ever get to read this and tell me about it I'm going to laugh so hard.
Person numero deux. Yeah right I'm talking about you! I will still try to acknowledge you like as a person even though you treat me like nothing and try to steal non-existant things from me. That's right! Stop trying to steal my hours from me. Everyone works as a team. You're no team player.
Person numero trois as of tonight when I was driving my grandma home after dinner. This green car cut in front of me to get into Lougheed Mall, probably either stopping by Wal-Mart or Tim Hortons. On the way back home this same green car came out from Lougheed Mall and forcingly cut me in order to make a left turn on North Road. Whoever you are, why do you choose to pick on me and cut in front of me twice? Does your lane suck so much? Did you pick the wrong lane to drive in? My rule is that if you cut in front of me twice by a fairly close margin enough to try to scare me or make me panic, I will cut you back. That is a solid "will". No matter what speed you are driving at, you picked on the wrong person. I'm guessing you were some kind of "I-think-I'm-so-cool-driving-fast-and-cutting-you" kind of driver. You're wrong. Get off the road or go retake some driving lessons for improvement. Some day..just some day, I hope you get what you deserve with that kind of attitude of yours. Accidents happen *cough*.
"Over and out!" - Adrian
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| Thinking about parallel worlds. Thinking about girl(s). Thinking about weird things sometimes >.>
Just constantly "thinking". Even thinking at work. Thinking where life will lead me. It's like "no purpose, no future" right now. Totally "mo liu". It's wracking my nerves and eating away at me. For once I want to stop thinking. Tylenol helps but even after moments of peace, I start to "think" again. Why did I even take it in the first place?
Tears. I feel tears piling up. Tears that haven't been shed in a while. "Men don't cry right?" Wrong! I'm just sensitive to my own thoughts. I just want to let it out and not hold it in for years. Several years. I still hate myself. Nothing has changed. These feelings of hatred for what I've become and what changed me. Also for what I have done. There is no such thing as asking for more than one chance to be forgiven. It doesn't always end with "that" kind of happy ending. We need to suffer more. Suffer~! I guess that's what makes us human to have these emotions and cry. Cry a river! Cry a lake! Lies. Maybe just a few tears, after all we're human.
Well we bleed, we bleed "red". It's just a color nothing more. Blood tastes bittersweet. I feel numb to this kind of pain. This pain is nothing new to me. Maybe I've just become depressed. 
Oh, how I long for tomorrow? Just an expression of what I am today. We linger on.
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